I love you, but…

I don’t even know whether to write this or not. Yes, like my life, I don’t have any clue here too. I am hopeless.

You decided to break up because you saw things that I couldn’t. You always were the one with the vision. I don’t know if you did the right thing. But, you made me believe in giving love a second chance.

I used to say, it happens only once. And then, you happened. You made me believe that true love happens only once unless the second one is like you.

Maybe, the fault lies within me.

I also don’t like fighting. I’m not a masochist or a sadist. No. But I prefer to say things aloud. Clear and direct.

Maybe, this perfect world does not deserve my imperfection. Maybe, some things aren’t meant to be said loud and clear. Maybe yes, I too had to learn to deal within the shades of gray.

You know what is the most depressing thing?

Right before breaking up, you said you love me, but this thing isn’t going to work and we should split.

The words still echo in my ears.

If you still love me, why aren’t we together? Am I really worth of only a four-month try, or do I deserve more? I guess I deserved more chances; maybe, our relation too.

“I love you… but…”
The words still cause an ache in my heart. Why? Why aren’t we together?

I don’t even know how to respond. How could I oppose your denial for trying more? How could I not support your decision, when you control 50% shares of our relation?

You changed me, bit by bit. Good or bad, I still don’t know. But I changed. I am not the same person who used to kid freely about love. You made me believe in love, once again. My trust melted with your warm love. And now, it won’t be the same again.

I am pathetic. I don’t even know whether to say a final goodbye or just kiss you and say sorry.

You said you love me. I love you, too.

Maybe, that’s where all complications are coming from.

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