Listen to the 2nd episode of Opening Up with Dipanshu Rawal here:
This is Dipanshu Rawal, and welcome to the second episode of Opening Up With Dipanshu Rawal.
The topic of this episode is “The Paradox of Blame“.
Once upon a time, there was a girl. A beautiful, gorgeous, young girl. She met a handsome and ambitious guy. They both fell in love and soon became a couple.
One fine day, the girl caught the boy cheating on her. She was broken and hurt obviously.
Somehow she got herself out of the situation. She had two choices, in order to get closure and move on- Either she put blame on herself and think “Maybe I am not good enough. Maybe it was my fault.” or She could just believe that All men are cheaters.
Apparently, if you were in her situation, you’d believe the same – All men are cheaters.
But anyway, life goes by. A few years later, she became close friends with another guy. This new guy proposed to her, and she accepted.
When she started spending the romantic moments with her new boyfriend, the same way she lived with her first love, she got reminded of her past, the past where she believed that all men cheat.
So, surrounded by her insecurities, she dumped the guy.
The boy was now shattered and hurt.
So, now if the boy wants to get closure and move on, he has two apparent options – Either he takes the blame on himself, considering “I am not good enough”, or he believes – all girls are like this.
Here comes the paradox of blame.
For any problem that’s happened, you can put the blame in one of the three ways:
1. Blame someone else.
This is the easiest way out. But if you keep throwing out blames, you’ll never feel accountable for whatever you do.
2. Blame yourself.
Initially, it’s the best option – to blame yourself for the wrong part you must have done. But you overdo this, and you’ll forget about being self-compassionate, and you’ll start beating yourself for even the tiniest of your faults.
3. Don’t blame anyone, blame the situation
If you blame situations, you’ll be outsourcing the whole problem, and you’d never be able to improve the situation.
How do you solve this problem?
What do you do in such a situation?
Comment below and let me know.
Thank you so much for listening. See you soon in the next episode of Opening Up with Dipanshu Rawal.
Previous Episode: Opening Up: Episode 1 – Be Vulnerable, it helps!