“Dipanshu, I get really angry sometimes. That’s my problem.” She concluded.
“Maybe not,” I intervened, “Maybe that’s the symptom of your problem. Maybe your problem is something else.”
Learn to differentiate between your problem and its symptom
You caught a fever. That’s not your problem.
You went out for a walk in the freezing -2’C temperature barefoot, that’s your problem – you are crazy. Your fever is just a symptom of it.
Your anger issue isn’t your problem. It’s a symptom of something problematic with your mindset and behavior.
How to diagnose your actual problem?
“The first principle is that you must not fool yourself – and you’re the easiest person to fool.” — Richard Feynman.
I have anger issues. I have trust issues. I don’t like being around such people.
Why do you feel angry?
Is it because you try having control over everything?
Is it because you’re too insecure about your emotions?
After answering “why” 3-4 times, you’ll be getting closer to your “actual problem”.
One secret tip
While performing this self-awareness activity, do not rely on your brain. I repeat. Do not rely on your brain.
Open notepad on your phone/laptop or pick up a pen and a paper. Write it down.
Make a flowchart – “What would happen if I do this, what would happen if I don’t do this?”
Figure out the probable options available.
Diagnosis is important
Your doctor is treating you for your gas issues.
Sometimes you also get abdominal cramps, and sometimes even a bit of diarrhea too. But you chose not to tell these minor issues to your doctor.
And so your doctor will keep treating you for your gas issues only.
You might never be diagnosed with lactose intolerance or maybe some other ‘actual’ problem.
Diagnosis is important.
[click_to_tweet tweet=”You can’t treat symptoms. You have to eventually treat the problem to get better.” quote=”You can’t treat symptoms. You have to eventually treat the problem to get better.” theme=”style3″]
You may also like to read:
- Journal Writing: One habit you need for a better life
- The Ultimate Guide of Making New Habits
- My journey with Therapy